A trip down Memory Lane
by brokenvoice
Summary: I am back. This story is no longer on hold.
1. Let it be

A.N. Welcome to the sequel of A road, A butterfly, and two hearts. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, end of story.

As always I thank Eden, for her wonderful words of wisdom.

Enjoy

* * *

Let it be

_When I find myself in times full of pain  
__I let my monster speak to me  
__Speaking words of wisdom  
__Let it be_

_And in my hours of darkness  
__He whispers to me  
_"_I told you, my dear, undead hearts aren't  
__meant to beat."_

_Speaking words of wisdom  
__Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Whispers the truth to me  
__And set me free  
_

_And when, the face  
__of my love agrees  
__There is no answer  
__To the questions I seek_

_Let it be_

_And through the pain I feel  
__She still has no memory  
__Of me_

_Whisper the truth to me  
__And set me free_

_I'm merely forgotten  
__My monster whispers to me  
_"_I told you my dear, in real life  
__There is no happy ending."_

_Speaking words of wisdom  
__Let it be._

_Just let it be he speaks to me  
__Let the pain consume you  
__And you shall be set free_

_You shall be set free  
__From the pain you cannot see_

_Speaking words of wisdom  
__My monster whispers to me  
_"_This is a tale of tragedy,  
__Where they kill off prince charming."_

_Let it be _

_Let it be_

_Whisper the truth to me  
__And set me free_

_When I find myself lost at sea  
__I let my monster speak to me  
__Speaking words of wisdom  
__He whispers to me_

"_Let go of your love, my dear,  
__For she has let go of you."_

_Speaking words of wisdom  
__Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Whisper lies to me  
__I don't want to be set free_

_Whisper lies to me  
__I don't want  
__I don't want  
__To be set __**free.**_

"_Who are you?" _

I am Alice Cullen. A future seeing vampire.

I am Alice Cullen. A vampire that's been alone for too long.

I am Alice Cullen. A vampire that lost control.

I am Alice Cullen.

And I've been _forgotten._

I used to believe, that the world was a happy place. A place full of love. Even if my family and I had to hide ourselves, I always believed the earth was a beautiful place.

I was so _wrong._

But let me backtrack here a bit, to a time before.

I'm 108 years old, give or take a few years. I'm a vampire, well a vegetarian vampire. Meaning, instead of human blood I drink animal blood. It's a way of living you could  
say I was born with. I've never tried human blood and I've never wanted to.

_Until _I met her. That beautiful, angle I used to call my own..

Okay whoa I'm getting ahead of myself again. Let's go back. So as I was saying, I'm a vampire plain and simple. Yes they are real. No we don't sleep in coffins. Yes we  
don't really like the sunlight. No we don't turn into bats. Blah blah blah blah. You get the picture. Supernatural is real, but a lot of the superstitions that are linked to us are is fake.

Alright now back to myself. I live with other vampires, my 'family' we call ourselves. Really we're a coven. We stick together because of our lifestyle choice.

There are seven of us in total.

First I'll start with Carlisle and Esme. Our 'parents' and most of the time they act like it too. Carlisle is the oldest, and he's changed most of us when we were human. He's  
the one who started this lifestyle, because he wanted to pursue his life passion. By being a doctor. A _vampire _doctor. Yes he has more control in his little pinkie than most  
vampires have in their entire bodies. Now Esme, she's just a saint. She fit's the role of mother perfectly. She was changed by Carlisle. Together they are mates. Soul mates  
some may say.

Next we have Rosalie and Emmet. The loudest couple you will _ever _hear. Seriously, I'm not joking. It's horrible. My ears actually bleed. Rosalie is the definition of a goddess.  
Ok vampires are naturally beautiful, but the beauty just roles off Rose in waves. Now Emmet is the definition of an Iron Man. Vampires have super strength, sure, but Emmet  
is stronger than most.

Last, but not least, Jasper and Edward. Now they're not a couple, but they're really close to each other. I'd like to think it's because of they're abilities. You see Edward can  
read minds. Whatever you think, he already knows. Jasper can feel emotions and manipulate them to what he wants. The reason I believe these guys are so close is because  
both of their talents can never be switched off.

Me? I'm Alice Cullen and I can see the future. But my visions are based on choices. Just think of it like a game of roulette. You get my drift?

Alright now back to the world and why I think it's now shit. I met this girl..

No, I met this angle. Her name is Isabella Swan, but she prefers Bella. It was a fairytale at the beginning that turned into a nightmare in the middle.

And here we are now, left without an ending.

You see, because of my choice to drink animals, the vampire part of me became unstable and hard to control. It grows stronger with each drink as I grow weaker. We didn't  
know this, when we decide on this life. We didn't know about the monster under our skin. Maybe if we did, things would have turned out differently.

_Maybe she would remember._

You see Bella became my mate, which in turn caused me to become possessive. Destructive. Out of control. I suppose it's all my fault, for not realizing I had, err- have, a  
monster racing through my veins.

I'm supposed to see the future after all.

I don't like to remember, what happened that day, or the six months following it. It's a time I learned how fucked up this world really is.

How nothing is ever fair.

All those stories you've heard when you where young is just bullshit. A way for your parents to get you to shut the hell up and go to bed. Fairies aren't real, screw the tooth Fairy.  
There's no such thing as a giant bunny that lays giant eggs. And what the hell is up with Santa Claus? Who wants a fat man going down their chimney giving kids presents?

Can anyone say hypocritical?

The whole population is a hypocrite. Don't take candy from strangers, yet we have Halloween. Don't tell lies, yes there is Santa Claus. Please, I mean really? Is the  
human population just that stupid?

Okay I'm sorry, I get mad a lot these days. Days I hate to suffer through. Watching my love interact with my family, watching her smile and laugh. Watch her remember them.

And forget me.

This is what I did. I made her forget me. She doesn't know Alice Cullen. She remembers vampires exist, she remembers Edward, she remembers Jasper, and hell she  
even remembers Rosalie. The one person who truly despised her. Yet she doesn't remember me. Or what I did.

I wish everyday is that I could just take it all back. Just take it and lock it up in a chest. Then throw that chest into the ocean and watch it sink to the bottom of the sea.

Carlisle says it's best not to tell Bella anything she doesn't remember, just to let her figure it out by herself. That wouldn't be so bad, unless of that one thing…

The chance that she doesn't.

Will she never remember her love for me? The way our lips felt, connected as one. They feeling of us together, holding each other and letting the world drift away.

Our own personal heaven.

It hurts, to remember the past, knowing she doesn't know. That she may never know.

"_Who are you?"_

I am Alice Cullen and this is my story. A story of how one person can cease to exist in another person's mind. A story of pain and loss. Of hate and love.

A story of my trip down memory lane.

_Let's take a trip  
__Down memory lane  
__Where the grass is green  
__And the sky isn't grey_

_Let's watch the sun  
__Let's dance in the rain_

_Let's take a trip  
__Down memory lane  
__Where love is found  
__Upon every passing train_

_Let's watch the moon  
__And swing upon the stars_

_Let's take a trip  
__Down memory lane  
__Where pain is lost  
__And dyeing has no shame_

_Let's watch the clouds  
__As they move with the earth_

_Let's take a trip  
__Down memory lane  
__Because a memory is a picture  
__That holds a thousand words_

_Words that can not be broken  
__Words that leave me choking  
__Words that I'll remember  
__Even when I leave this place_

_Let's take a trip  
__(A trip)  
__Down memory lane  
__(Memory lane)_

_Where the grass is green  
__And the sky isn't grey._

_**And my monster whispers to me, " You are nothing, a forgotten memory. Don't waste your time wishing and praying. In the end, it's your heart you'll be breaking."**_

_**Speaking words of wisdom.**_

**Let It Be.**

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Please review :]


	2. Wish

A.N. I am very excited about the amount of feedback I received from the first chapter. Thank you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and sadly I will not be seeing Eclipse on opening night. *tear*

As always I thank Eden, for correcting all my spelling mistakes and just being an awesome Beta.

Enjoy

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Wish

_**Without you, the ground thaws  
**__**The rain falls  
**__**The grass grows**_

_**Without you, the seeds root  
**__**The flowers bloom  
**__**The children play  
**___

_**My monster speaks  
**__**My heart weeps  
**__**Reality dies  
**__**Without you**_

_**Time goes on  
**__**The clock ticks by  
**__**But I die, without you**_

_**Without you, the breeze warms  
**__**The girl smiles  
**__**The cloud moves**_

_**Without you, the tides change  
**__**The boys run  
**__**The oceans crash  
**___

_**My monster laughs  
**__**My days go past  
**__**I cry  
**__**Without you**_

_**The pain grows  
**__**The venom flows  
**__**But I die, without you**_

_**Your mind comes alive  
**__**Memories renew  
**__**But I know red  
**__**Only red  
**__**Blood red  
**__**Without you**_

_**Without you, the hand gropes  
**__**The ear hears  
**__**The pulse beats**_

_**Without you, the eyes gaze  
**__**The legs walk  
**__**The lungs breathe  
**__**The knife stabs  
**__**The wound bleeds  
**__**Love dies, without you**_

_**Life goes on  
**__**But I'm gone  
**_'_**cause I die, without you  
**__**Without you**_

_**Without you  
**___

_**Without  
**__**You.**_

"Leaving?"

"Yes, I'm leaving."

"Alice, you can't just… leave."

"It's too painful here, Jasper. You feel it just as much as I do."

"But.. You can't go.." He replied, running a hand through his hair. Why is he fighting this, he feels it. Feels what my heart screams.

"Why should I stay? There's nothing here for me." I replied, my voice low and emotionless.

"What about us? We're your family. What about Bella?" he questioned, his voice laced with concern.

"Don't play dumb with me Jasper. She doesn't even remember me. She doesn't know who I am." I hissed, the pain of my words slashing through me.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. " But Carlisle said-"

"He said he doesn't know the answer Jazz. _I _don't even know the answer. I need to go. I need to _forget._"

"You can't!" he exclaimed as I shook my head.

"Why not! Why don't I have the right to start over! Tell me why!" I hissed as Jasper tried to catch my hand in his.

"Because you can't." he whispered.

And he was right. I could never start over. Vampires aren't like humans, when we find our mates, that's all we find. Mates for eternity. We can 'love' another, but  
we could never _fall_ in love again.

I couldn't, but Bella _could. _That's why I'm leaving, because I can't sit around here and watch her move on. Watch her fall in love again.

Watch her _leave _me.

"I have to." I whispered, defeated.

"Alice please, she'll remember. It just takes time." Jasper tried to reason.

"Time! Time! Don't talk to me about time; She woke up months ago Jasper! MONTHS!"

"Ali… please.." he pleaded, sadness coating his voice.

I shook my head, "I'm sorry Jasper. I'm sorry. Tell everyone I said goodbye." With that I turned on my heel and jumped out the window.

And I ran.

I ran as fast as I could. Away from Forks. Away from my family. Away from Bella.

I could hear the wind carry Jaspers' pleadings for me to stay, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I had to get away from all of the pain.

No one was supposed to see me off. I wrote a note and was planning on leaving it on the kitchen counter. But Jasper came home early. I didn't want to see the  
sadness in his eyes. Or hear the breaking of his heart.

But I had to leave.

It's been 3 months since Bella woke up. She spent a couple days in the hospital, for tests and such. At first she didn't remember anyone. Only her name. Carlisle  
said it would take time for her to remember everyone. It took two days, till she remembered Edward. We knew she did right away, because she said his name. You see  
Carlisle told us not to tell her anything, including our names. So we carefully avoided saying each others names around her.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

_Edward was sitting under the window. His hair was it's usual messy self. Wearing his jacket because the temperature in the room was 'cold'. We still had an image to keep up.  
It was a quiet day, with no test. When Bella started having a coughing fit, Edward jumped over to her._

"_Bella are you okay?" He asked worried._

"_Yea I'm fine."_

"_You want me to go get the doctor?"_

"_No no-" She started, but didn't finish because she went into another coughing fit._

"_I'm going to go get the doctor." he continued, not convinced._

"_No!," She said in between coughing. "I'm fine! Really!"_

"_No I'm going to go. I'll be right back." he steadily continued._

"_Edward I said I was fine!"_

To say everyone was shocked was an understatement. After the shock died down were all elated. Everyday or so Bella would remember another name. More smiles grew.  
Day after day she was becoming the old Bella. Soon she remembered everyone's name.

Everyone's but mine.

At first I brushed it off, saying she would remember it soon. Days past, then weeks, and then months. I was giving up hope, but my family was sure she would remember.

She never did.

While she was all smiling and catching up with everyone else I was left to watch. Watch from the sidelines when she laughed. Watch from a distance when she smiled.

That's all I ever did. _Watch. _

I kept on a brave face, but my family saw past that. They all saw the sadness in my eyes. The tears that would never fall.

The pain in my heart that would never heal.

Carlisle kept telling me she would remember, it would just take time. He said her brain was in the process of recovery, all the memories that scattered when she  
hit her head, were making their way back. I believed him. I really did.

That was until I saw the test. Bella's brain wasn't in recovery anymore. All the memories that scattered, all the things she lost had already found their way back.

There was _nothing _left for her to remember.

I became nothing to Bella. A stranger. An alien.

**Nothing.**

That's why I'm running. And as I hear the leaves crunch beneath my feet and the trees shake with the wind, I know that I will never forget Bella Swan. I will never  
forget the way her hand felt in mine. I will never forget the way her body felt, next to mine. The way her warmth coated me, like a blanket. I will never forget, the  
way she smiled. The way she laughed. The way she cried. The way her lips felt against mine.

As I hear the leaves crunch beneath my feet and the trees shake with the wind, I know that I will never forget Bella Swan.

But I'm going to _try._

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone.**_

_**She said " I don't remember, who you are. I don't think I ever will."  
**__**I don't understand why this had to happen to me. Did I once love you?  
**__**Do you love me? I get along but these thoughts keep invading my head.  
**__**I don't understand, this feeling of dread. The doctor said my memories were  
**__**Back in my head, so why does that leave you, so broken and dead?**_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone**_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone  
**__**Please come back home..**_

_**Do you know the place I was in? A place inside your head. It's a dark place  
**__**With no light to lead the way. I tried to remember, I never wanted to forget  
**__**But the voice kept screaming at me. It kept saying your name. A name I didn't  
**__**Want to forget. So here I am, stuck here with questions I can not answer. It's like  
**__**A part of me is dead. **_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone**_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone  
**__**Please come back home…**_

_**I know it's too much to ask, for you to keep waiting. Tired of sitting  
**__**Around, why am I forsaken? I'm sorry, for forgetting your face.  
**__**I'm such a disgrace. Forgetting my love, why can't I see? It was always  
**__**You and me. I'm sorry you have to leave. Run away from the pain I cause  
**__**Like a knife that stabs you repeatedly, in the heart. I want you to remember, hear  
**__**These words, I will remember the name to an angels face. Don't be gone too long  
**__**My love, I'll remember you in time. Then we'll be together, the light will shine**_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone**_

_**Where'd you go?  
**__**I miss you so  
**__**Seems like it's been forever  
**__**That you've been gone  
**__**Please come back home…**_

_**Please come back home…  
**__**Please come back home..  
**__**Please come back home…  
**__**Come back home.**_

_Oh Mary what a fool you are. I've been watching you from afar. I remember what you did to me, way back in history. I remember the words that you said. I remember the  
promises you broke. I remember the lies you spoke._

_And now you run, from a mate that you wish to forget? Oh how my luck has turned. I will grant your wish, Mary. I will make it come true. I will make you forget your mate  
and all that you've been through. _

_I will make you hate, the feelings coursing through you. You will hate love. And you will love hate. You will be the perfect puppet I will make._

_So run, as fast as you can. Away from your demons away from your pain. And into my arms, how they'll be open today. Time, I have all the time in the world. You see Mary, patience  
is a virtue. I will go slow, my plan will not fail. You shall forget, the one that holds your heart._

_In return we will dine tonight. _

_So run, follow the wind through the trees. Hide in the shadows, clear your head. You think you've met the devil?_

_You haven't seen anything yet._

_I will make you bleed. I will make you scream. You'll be wishing you kept your monster free. I'll make you regret, the chains you've used. I'll make you regret, the cage you hold it in.  
You'll wish you had released the leash of the one thing that you can't control. When I'm done with you, you'll wish you were dead._

_Oh boo hoo your love has forgotten you? Cry me a river. You pathetic excuse for a vampire. You will learn true pain, when our paths cross. I will destroy your soul._

_Like you've destroyed mine. _

_I bet you don't remember, what you did to me. But I remember, I see it everyday. Like a movie that plays in my head, I can't turn it off. I can't play pause._

_I hate you Mary. I hate what you took away from me. You should listen to what people say, you could learn a lot. The game starts now, you haven't seen nothing yet. _

_Next time be careful what you wish for. _

_**The game starts tonight  
**__**So be prepared to fight  
**__**We're going to play rough  
**__**We're going to get dirty**_

_**Put your gloves on  
**__**Watch your steps  
**__**The round starts when the bell rings  
**__**You haven't see nothing yet  
**___

_**This is a game  
**__**You won't win  
**__**You want to forget?  
**__**I'll make you relive**_

_**When the clock strikes twelve  
**__**You'll be wishing you where in hell  
**__**You should have stayed  
**__**You should have taken the pain**_

_**You wish to forget?  
**__**I'll make you remember  
**__**You wish to die  
**__**I'll make sure you cry**_

_**Be careful what you wish  
**__**There's no such thing  
**__**As true love's first kiss  
**__**The game has begun  
**__**Are you ready to run?**_

_**The game has begun  
**__**I'll kill you  
**__**For what you've done**_

_**Be careful what you wish  
**__**It might turn out  
**__**Something like this…**_

* * *

Please review. :]

Oh and although I didn't copy the full songs (I change some lines and such) I do not own _Without you _from Rent or _Where'd you go? _by Fort Minor. If you haven't seen Rent you should.


	3. Burn Angel Burn

A.N. I am terribly sorry it took me so long to update this, I got a job and it's been kicking me in the butt. But I'm getting used to it so hopefully I  
can update sooner, so no one be mad at me k?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Duh

As always I thank Eden, for being my editor in chef…..er I mean Beta :P

Enjoy

* * *

_Burn Angel Burn_

_July 11th__, 1891. _

_It was a hot summer day, with no wind at all. The rusty chair rocking on the porch kept squeaking, adding the only sound to silence that surrounded the house.  
The house was old with broken windows and front door with no handle. People who passed by it assumed it was abandoned, but the screams that always filled the air  
told them otherwise. The screams that always happened at the same time, everyday. They were screams of horrible pain echoing miles and miles in the listeners head. _

_12:00, midnight was the time the old rusty house came alive. Or became death, for not even birds glided by it. No animal was ever seen near the house. The wind didn't  
even reach it. The only thing was the old rusty chair always rocking on the porch. _

_It was the same every night and in the morning the house became silent. The screaming lasted one hour. An hour of something so horrible and so terrifying no one had the courage  
to try and help….so no one did anything._

_Until that faithful summer day, in July. When the entire house burned._

_Burn baby burn  
__Watch me burn  
__Turn me to ash  
__That flies with the wind_

_Let me go  
__I'm tired of this place  
__This endless flame_

_Let me go  
__I want to be free  
__Free from my chains_

_Burn baby burn  
__Watch me smother  
__Beneath the blaze  
__That turns me to dust_

_Let me go  
__This isn't a dream  
__It's my reality_

_Let me go  
__I'm tired of this game  
__I quit_

_Burn baby burn  
__Light the match  
__Set my flame  
__Watch me die  
__Watch me __**die.**_

_I burned baby  
__I'm burned._

"_It's not working Mathew." The mans voice was urgent. _

"_Then we'll try again, till it does." _

"_We can't keep doing this. It's not right."_

"_Nothings right in this world. It's what we call life."_

_The man addressed as Mathew shook his head and exited the room. His footsteps were loud and powerful, but began to fade when the door eased shut. The other  
__ man, a gray haired man that had many lines on his tired face sighed and walked around the table placed in the middle of the small room, with gray paint on the walls.  
All along the walls were spots of red._

_Spots of blood._

_The blood was caked on the walls, as if it's been there for years. The only other object in the room besides the table, was a small bed lined against one of the walls.  
On top of the bed was a little girl, only wearing a large T-shirt to cover her body. _

_Which was also coated in blood._

_She had cuts and bruises all over her small body with red markings around both her wrists and ankles. But the worst thing about this poor little girl, wasn't the blood or the cuts. _

_No, it was the dead broken look her eyes held. She was just a body, with no spirit. No soul. _

_The man eased himself on the bed, pulling the girl into him. She didn't pull away, nor did she relax against him. Just the same expression she wore, like a soldier that had  
seen death too many times._

"_I'm sorry little one, I know it hurts. This will stop. It will. I promise. You will never have to suffer anymore. You can be at peace." _

_The man kissed the top of the girls head, before getting up from the bed and leaving the room. Before he closed the door, he looked back and whispered, "Tonight, you will be free."  
Then he shut the door with a click. The little girl sat motionless on the bed, but as the light filtered through the window the tears rolling down her face were visible._

_No sound was heard as the girl cried in soft silence. Not even the moon that shone through her window seemed to care about this broken creature. _

_I'm a broken angel  
__Can't you hear my screams?  
__I'm a broken angel  
__Can't you see?_

_I've lost my wings  
__I have no soul  
__I feel nothing but pain  
__That burns in my veins_

_I'm a broken angel  
__So hear my pleas  
__Just shoot me  
__End my misery_

_I'm a broken angel  
__Don't you see?  
__I have nothing left_

_Let me go free  
__Away from this place  
__And the torture I can't escape_

_My screams fade in the night  
__Echoing in your head_

_I'm a broken angel  
__I can no longer fly  
__I'm a broken angle  
__All I can do is cry_

_The moon was bright in the sky that night, lighting even the darkest places. Even the old house that held the broken girl was becoming brighter. _

"_Mathew, I'm done."_

"_Done! You're done! We've been working on this for two year and were almost there and your __**done**__!"_

"_We are no where closer then we were two years ago! Do you even look at what this is doing to her? Do you even realize the pain she's feeling? Do you even  
care about your __**own daughter **__anymore?"_

"_She understands! She wants this as much as I do!"_

"_No she doesn't dammit!" The gray haired man screamed, slamming his hands on the table. _

"_She has nothing to do with this! It's you Matthew! You're the one that can't let Kat go! God Damnit it's been six years! She's dead! You hear me? DEAD! And  
she's never coming back!"_

_Mathew stood there, with his jaw clenched and his fist tightened. _

"_You're wrong. This will work. I can bring her back. I can."_

"_Mathew," The gray haired man said gently " You can't bring the dead back to life, it's not possible. You're not God."_

"_It will work! Just a couple more tries."_

"_I'm sorry Mathew, but I can't allow you to hurt her anymore. Kat died six years ago and I'm afraid you did too." The grey haired man whispered as he produced  
a small match in his hand_

"_What is that? Lo-Logan put the match down. Look I can make this work! I can!" _

"_No Mathew, you can't. And it's time you stopped playing God." Logan said, striking and throwing the match on the piles and piles of papers that were scattered on the table. _

"_NO!" Mathew screamed, jumping to put the flames out with his hands._

"_You bastard! All my work! I'll kill you!" he lunged at Logan, knocking the flaming papers on the floor. Instantly the fire spread covering half the room making the men  
jump apart. Mathew ran to the papers, trying to save all he could. Frustrated he threw the ashes down and pulled out a gun from his belt. _

"_I could have done it, Logan. I could have brought her back. You don't know! You don't know how much she misses her mother. Alice loved her mother, you don't fucking know!  
I'll kill you, I'm going to kill you for destroying my family. You won't be able to stop me again."_

_The gun shot twice and before Logan could speak his body hit the floor. The fire was spreading faster engulfing everything in its path. Mathew dropped the gun and ran to the  
door, yanking on the knob. _

_It didn't open. He tired two more times before screaming and kicking the door. He turned his back to the door and looked at Logan. "What did you do?" He asked._

_Logan just smiled, with blood pouring out of his mouth. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Taking his last breath he whispered his last words,_

"_Be free angel, be free."_

_Mathew screamed one last time before the fire touched his body and destroyed the room in a hellish blaze. The smoke filled the house as the fire tried to spread from  
the room. Sirens invaded the silence as figures stepped foot in the old house. Doors were axed down and voices yelled all while the fire grew more alive. As the house  
went up in flames, burning everything in its path, a man came out of the front door, past the rocking chair, carrying the little girl in his arms._

_Broken angel  
__You have been freed  
__I give you your wings  
__Spread them wind  
__Fly away_

_Let your memories of today  
__Wash away  
__A forgotten memory_

_Broken angel  
__The pain you feel  
__Will heal over time  
__Just never become a monster  
__Like the ones that died that night_

_Broken angel  
__Fly for me  
__Go up to heaven  
__Touch the clouds  
__And as you watch that place  
__Burn in a fiery ash  
__Smile  
__For the bodies trapped inside_

_The little girl never told anyone what happened in the house, because really no one would believe her. For years after the incident she was sent to an orphanage, where  
she lived until she was eighteen. _

_Alice Mary Brandon was her name, but she went by Mary because she absolutely despised the name Alice. Anyone who called her that would get a black eye and a busted lip.  
Mary spent most of her time alone, only socializing when she had too. When she turned eighteen she walked out of her 'home' left with the scars of her past halfway healed. _

_Mary never saw what was going to happen next._

_If I could see the future  
__I'd look for the right paths  
__I'm suppose to take  
__Instead of allowing fate  
__To take control of me_

_Left or right  
__Which way do I go?  
__Up or down  
__Which way is home?_

_If I could see the future  
__The past would mean nothing to me  
__I'd forget it all  
__Like it never mattered  
__In the first place_

_Left or right  
__Where's my sign?  
__Up or down  
__I will never turn around_

_If I could see the future  
__I would have changed the past  
__I would have perished  
__In that fire  
__On that summer night_

_December 12, 1902_

_It was a cold winter night, along the streets of downtown New York. A young women was walking, with her hands in her pockets all bundled up, looking like she had no where to go._

_The streets were bare, except for the few who couldn't afford a home. She walked briskly, but fluently, with a touch of grace. She turned down an alley, avoiding the streets and the cars._

_Avoiding the people._

_A cat appeared in front of her, making her jump. It hissed before running away. The woman took some deep breaths, breathing out frozen air. She walked faster this time, wanting  
to get out of the dark alley._

"_Well well what do we have here? A stray perhaps?" The voice appeared out of nowhere, making the woman scream in fright, jumping backwards away from the person that held the voice._

_She was beyond stunning. A goddess really. With black hair that fell down past her shoulders. A face of a model, with thin red lips. Her body was __**perfect. **__Curves in the right places  
making other…things more full. But the one thing that made the woman shiver. The one thing that made her see this was no ordinary person. _

_Was the strangers eyes. _

_They were red, like blood or fire. Inviting with warm yet warning with hate. They were like the eyes of a predator._

_And she was the prey._

_The woman's body screamed run, but she decided against it. For she realized she would not get far from this stranger._

"_My my a smart kitty no? So you've realized the predicament your in hmm? How interesting." The stranger said with a purr that made woman go weak in the knees. _

"_W-who are you?" She asked, afraid of the answer._

"_Now now kitty, it doesn't matter who I am. No what matters is __**what **__I am." _

"_What you are? I don't understand…"_

"_Alright little kitty, I'll explain. You see I am a vampire. A creature that's immortal."_

"_B-but vampires aren't real." the woman said in disbelief._

"_Why aren't they?"_

"_Cause there's no proof. No facts."_

"_Typical human." the stranger said with a scoff. "You and your facts. Do you have facts about this 'God' of yours? Hmmm?"_

"_N-No…" _

"_Then why does he get to be declared real?"_

"_I-I don't know…."_

"_Exactly. So as I was saying, I'm a vampire. Should I prove it to you?"_

_Before the woman could answer the stranger disappeared and reappeared behind the woman, breathing against her neck._

"_You understand now don't you kitty?" _

"_Y-yes." The woman said, realizing that she should have never taken the alley on the way home._

"_Now now kitty, don't be sad. I'm not going to kill you."_

"_Your not?" She asked, surprised._

"_Nope. You're the first human I've met that had eyes like yours. So much pain and hatred. I'm going to grant you a gift."_

"_A gift?" The woman asked, confused._

"_Yes a gift."_

"_What kind of gift?"_

_The stranger smiled against the woman's neck and said with a grin, "The gift of eternal life."_

_The scream filled the air so quick it scared the birds and shook the windows of nearby cars. It was a screamed that traveled from time, back when the woman was just a broken angel.  
A little girl alone in the world, trapped in a house with a chair that rocked constantly on the porch. A time when the angel grew her wings and flew away. A time the woman would forget  
until she heard the scream once again._

_Burn baby burn  
__Feel the venom  
__Spread in your veins  
__Feel your memories  
__Slipping away_

_Broken angel hear me now  
__Your burning up you hear  
__You feel the fire  
__As it spreads to your heart  
__Making it stop_

_Burn baby burn  
__Breathe the pain now  
__Your human life  
__Is nothing to you now_

_A broken angel without no wings  
__Is what you were before this life  
__Now you're a monster  
__Time to burn everything in sight_

_Burn baby burn  
__Watch your memories fade  
__Like the broken angel  
__You were yesterday_

_I said burn baby burn  
__Watch your memories fade  
__You're not the broken angel  
__You were yesterday_

_Burn angel burn  
__Burn  
__Angel  
__**Burn.**_

* * *

Please Review :] it really makes me happy.

Oh and on a side note I hope no one gets mad about the God comment. If people do I'm sorry, but I won't change it. Remember to vampires God doesn't exsist.  
Thank you for reading :]


	4. Lies

A.N. Finally I'm able to update. I'm terribly sorry this took me so long I had serious writers block, but thanks to my Beta, Eden, I was able to work it out.  
I got a few reviews about taking out all the lyrics, so that's what I did. I hope everyone likes it.

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, duh.

Enjoy

* * *

"_Just gonna stand there and watch me _

_burn_

_Well that's alright because I like the way _

_It hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_Well that's alright because I love the way _

_You lie_

_I love the way you lie"_

_-Love the way you lie by Eminem Featuring Rihanna_

Lies

_December 16 1902_

_There will never be words to describe this feeling. _

_No way for this pain to be reached. _

_No way to escape this level of hell that I've reached. _

_So far down, past the flames and lost souls. _

_Past the gates and down under._

_This intensity can never be fake, as the truth marks your soul. _

_I can scream and shake my head in disbelief, but the truth still remains. _

_It's tattooed on my skin. _

_**A permanent sin. **_

_My mind becomes endless, a blazing tornado ready to tear down anything and everything in its path. I can't think straight. It's hard to even think at all. All I feel is this  
scorching pain in my throat, screaming to be doused._

_**Blood**_

_**Blood**_

_**Blood **_

_Always an echo inside my head, pounding against my skull. I've become something I can't comprehend. Blood? What the fuck is that all about? Why would I want to drink blood?  
But in all truth the question isn't why I want it, No…._

_It's how._

_The question seems bizarre and un-real to me, yet that's what I've become. Unreal. I'm a fairytale now, the one thing people have to __**see to believe**__. So in all honesty the question  
doesn't seem so wrong and the answer has never been more clearer._

_**Kill.**_

_One word that will end this pain I feel. For how long, I don't know. Yet I find no reason to care. I need to end this burn in my throat. This un-relenting heat. This blade that's been  
thrust deep within me. Tearing my flesh and making me bleed. I did nothing to deserve this! My life has been played with too many times, now it's my turn. It's my turn to cause pain.  
My turn to watch someone scream. _

_**My turn to be free.**_

_I've spent so many years in pain. So many years watching those around me laugh and smile when all I did was cry. All I did was cry! Everyday was the same, over and over again. I was  
never loved. I was never held. No one comforted me when I got hurt. No one cared when I bled. No one! Humans are so fake, pretenders all of them! They won't care about you unless  
they get something in return. _

_For years I was over looked. Pushed aside while all the other kids got new homes. While they got new families. While they got love. I had nothing. Not even hate towards my own father  
or my dead mother. I didn't feel anything! I was broken and so alone and no one even spared me a single glance! I was the one broken doll nobody wanted to fix._

_**Now I'm not so broken anymore. **_

_For the first time in a long time, I feel alive. All these scars I have are nothing. All this pain I feel will be my energy. The fuel to my fire. This hell I have been thrown into will be my home.  
The blade that's pierced my heart will be my weapon. I will be free of my past life. Free from my demons, by becoming something no one will see. _

_I am Mary Alice Brandon and you will __**fear **__me._

* * *

_(Four days previous)_

_This blood that stains my lips is like fine wine._

_A taste so rich and overpowering. _

_I crave more of it. I wish to drown in it. _

_To __**breathe **__it. _

_Such a pathetic world I walk in. Awake forever among these worthless creatures that I can't even reveal myself to. These ants I could smash between my fingers. They're greedy and  
selfish it makes me sick just thinking about them._

_It makes me sick to __**live **__off them._

_To endure their taste in my mouth forever, as it cascades down my throat, filling me up until I'm hungry again._

_This so called 'life' is humiliating. Banished in the shadows, always left in the dark, never to walk freely among the earth that 'God' created._

_I am __**God. **_

_**Immortal.**_

_**Powerful.**_

_**Invincible. **_

_No human could even try to harm me._

_It's__** impossible. **_

_They can't comprehend the power I hold with one finger. Tanks? I'll smash them. Bombs? I'll crush them. Soldiers? I'll drain them, one by one till blood stains the grass._

_**Permanently.**_

_These wars they're fighting are a waste of time. Making enemies of each other is the biggest mistake mankind has made. They haven't even seen destruction. They haven't even felt real pain.  
Or tasted the ultimate defeat. No words will describe the screams they will hear. _

_The real war has yet to begin._

_I will be their war. I will destroy this so called master race. The face of the world will change as everyone with a heartbeat knows it. Mothers and Fathers will all perish. Children will be drained  
and trained under my control. Everyone will seize to smile unless I say so. _

_I will be King. _

_It's just a matter of time before the world comes tumbling down like dominoes. Soon vampires will be superior and humans will be slaves. They will be left in the darkness. _

_They will be the __**un-real. **_

_While we will be the __**reality.**_

_Day by day I will be searching for lost humans to turn. Then I will let the venom do the talking. Let the hate consume them, unleashing hell upon this world._

_I am the puppeteer, they are the puppets. Screw with their heads, make them kill. _

_**Kill.**_

_**Kill.**_

_**Kill.**_

_Over and over again till that's all they come to understand. Till the evil races through their veins. Till all moral thoughts and consciousness seize to exist. Till all they ever want is blood. _

_Blood will be my weapon. The first domino in the line. A chain reaction will take place and BAM! _

_Apocalypse here we come._

_I will be the one who makes the human race beg and grovel at my feet. I will be their ruler. A tyrant of the world. From sea to sea my voice will be the only one they hear.  
The only thing they will always fear. _

_**I WILL BE GOD!**_

_It all starts today, once that girl wakes up and feels the venom burn. She will be my ultimate puppet. Alice will be my key, to this world's corruption. I will make sure of it. _

'_Cause I am one vampire who already holds great power. I am one vampire no other vampire will want to fuck with. I am already counting the days until this world goes ka-boom._

_I am Vanessa Volturi._

_**Let the games begin. **_

* * *

Please review :]


	5. Big Bad Wolf

**A.N. I am terribly sorry it took me so damn long to update. The only excuse would be that I've just been so busy with school and such. I will try to update faster. **  
**I hope you guys will be patent because I love all my readers and I don't want to lose any of you. Moving on I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Declaimer: This whole 'not owning twilight' thing is a lie. I do own it, just in my dreams.**

**I dedicate this chapter to all who read it, because it makes me happy to know that you guys still are with me after so long of not updating.**

**Enjoy**

* * *

"_I'm a space__bound rocket ship and your hearts  
__The moon.  
__And I'm aiming right at you  
__Right at you_

_250,000 miles and a clear night in June  
__And I'm so lost without you  
__Without you  
__Without you. "_

_-Eminem: Space Bound_

**Big Bad Wolf**

The mind is a complicated piece of work. It fills with information every day, never over loading, never ending. You could live forever and still never know enough.

No **one** can know enough.

It stores things you learned ten years ago you didn't even remember till one day you have a sudden thought and you find yourself exclaiming,  
"what the hell? Since when did I know there are 500,250,600 minutes in a year?" Your brain is mass spider web of wonder, its no wonder get headaches  
all the damn time. We have so much shit in our head that sometimes you can't even remember your own name.

Your own _**name. **_

Did you know that? You can forget your own name. Try looking in the mirror one day and wondering who the fuck you're looking at because for some reason  
you don't remember it being you.

It's the most helpless feeling ever.

Trust me I know.

I know first hand what it feels like. It was the shortest and longest time of my life. It was like I didn't exist. I felt like I fainted, but I had no memory of fainting.  
It's the most indescribable feeling in the world.

But anyway the point is the mind is a scary place. You could get lost in it and never find your way out. Everyone should fear the mind. It's like a forrest, you don't  
see it as dangerous until you get lost in it. Imagine being surrounded by nothing but trees and every breath you take it feels like they're closing in on you. They're  
closing in so fast you panic and can barley breath, but it keeps closing and closing all while you're screaming your head off. No one hears you though.

**No one ever will. **

I know how it feels to be trapped, surrounded by an endless space that makes you suffocate. Screaming and pleading yet never actually uttering a single sound.  
The only good thing being trapped inside your mind is that you remember **everything. **

I remembered that I got bit by a dog when I was two. I remembered that for 3rd grade I did a report about Ben Franklin. When I was 9 I caught a frog. And so on  
and so on. It's a massive bomb going off and you have no power to stop it.

Talk about total overload.

It was the craziest thing ever, looking for a way out of my own mind. Eventually I found my way out and the most fucked up thing about it is that I lost it all.

All I remembered just _**vanished. **_

I didn't know why I was in a hospital. Where this hospital was at. And most of all why I had some stranger practically draped on me sobbing her heart out. It was  
uncomfortable to say the least. She was just going on and on about how sorry she was and all I could think to say was who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck am _**I?**_

I felt so lost. A kid who just lost his whole world to a drunk truck driver.

These people all surrounded me and I didn't know any of them. After a while I got so angry. They knew me, obviously, and yet they haven't told me a single thing.  
Every question I asked was unanswered. I felt like punching all of them, but I just didn't have the strength.

It was pretty tense after that. All I remembered was my name, but not who I was. I didn't know who they were and why they were here with me. I thought it was  
going to take forever to remember something, but it didn't. At first I started remembering the little things. Like my mothers name and my fathers. My birthday. Things  
like that. It took two days after I woke up to remember one of these people that were with me. The first person I remembered was Edward. Don't ask me why or how  
because I have no idea. Soon after that I would remember the others.

Esme.

Emmet.

Rosalie.

Jasper.

Carlisle.

The relief on all their faces was enough to make me smile, yet there was still something wrong. There was one person I just couldn't remember.

The chick that was crying on me when I first woke up. She has black hair and she's small. Her eyes hold great sadness and every time I look at them I feel a sharp pain.  
I felt like crying. At first I thought I just couldn't remember who she was because I figured we weren't close before my accident. I tried to talk to her, but every time I did  
she would just get this far away look in her eye and walk away.

Now that pissed me off. It wasn't my fault I couldn't remember! I tried all the time, but she never came to mind. Eventually I stopped trying and we saw her less and less.  
I felt saddened by her absence, but I could never figure out why. Till that day that changed it all.

Everyone was in the living room relaxing and having a good day. The atmosphere was happy and content, until Jasper came down the stairs so quick it made me jump.  
I remembered about three weeks after I woke up that all these people were vampires, so I was still getting used to it. When Jasper came down the air turned somber  
and reeked with sadness. Instantly every ones moods changed. We all knew something was up. Something was wrong.

Jasper held a note in his hand and he was shaking. Vampires don't shake. When he started reading it his voice was full of regret and shook with each word he spoke.  
To this day I still recite the whole note like I wrote it. I could still feel Jaspers anguish.

It read:

_Everyone,_

_I'm sorry for doing this, but I just can't stand the pain anymore. I can't stand there on the sidelines knowing my love does not remember me. I held onto hope as long as  
I could, but now it's long gone. I have nothing left inside. I've decided to travel the world. Go from place to place never stopping. I know I am running away. I just __**can't **__do it  
anymore. I am sorry. _

_-Goodbye_

_Alice_

The room burst into utter chaos after that. Emotions ran so high for a split second I feared Jasper was in pain. There was so much sadness in the room I felt like  
dying was the only way to escape it.

Yet as my family crumpled to pieces around me, I couldn't pay attention. I could only focus on the name ringing in my ears.

_**Alice. Alice. Alice.**_

The girl with spiky black hair was Alice, but who was she to me?

_**Alice. Alice. Alice.**_

How come I can't remember her? Yet the name…the name feels like it means everything to me.

_**Alice. Alice. Alice.**_

The buzzing of my family's anguish got louder and louder. I blocked it out. I was so tired. So sick and tired of not remembering. I just wanted to remember.  
I want to remember!

_**Alice….**_

Then it hit me, like a semi truck to the face. It hurt so fucking bad I couldn't breath. Instantly the whirlwind around me stopped. As I was clutching my chest, questions  
filled my ears, questions full of panic. I couldn't answer any of them. Gasping for breath all I could hear, besides the blood rushing in my head, was her voice replaying  
over and over in my head. Finally I got a breath in my lungs and the ringing faded. All that was left was my own voice screaming. I remember. I remember!

"Alice.. I remember."

* * *

That was two months ago. Two long months filled with sleepless nights. Tossing and turning, replying the memories in my head as if they were the real thing.  
Realizing I remember the most important thing a person could forget.

I remembered love.

How it gets underneath your skin and grinds into your bones. How it's the match to your fire.

How it's everything.

It's been so horrible, just watching the door as if Alice will come smiling through it. I pray everyday she'll come back. Each tick of the clock is like a bullet to my heart.  
Sooner or later I fear all my blood will drip to the floor and I'll be empty. More empty then I already feel. The most horrible truth is..

I don't have forever.

I'm not a vampire. I can't sit here for decades waiting for Alice to come back. I'm just a pathetic human, wasting away. The others, they feel my pain, but not as intense.  
It's like I'm being killed each day in different ways, painful ways, then brought back to life to start the cycle all over again. Round and round I go where I'll stop I don't know.  
What I do know is that I can't stay here, like a pathetic human. I'm done with waiting and wishing. It's time to find Alice and heal these holes in my heart.

Even if my family won't be happy about it.

" You want to do what?" Edward exclaimed from the doorway. I jumped a little before rushing over to him and making a hush sound. See ever since the accident  
there are times when Edward is able to read my mind. For some reason they are completely random and spontaneous. Then they shut off and lock him out like before.

" You heard me loud and clear Edward."

" That's not the way we should go about doing this, Bella, you're not thinking clearly."

" I'm thinking the best I have in months."

" Bella" Edward started, in a firmer voice than before. "That's a lot your asking. It's a big risk that may not be worth taking."

" I know the risk Edward." I snapped " I'm tired of waiting for Alice to come back. She isn't coming back so I'm going to go find her. With or without you."

He sighed running a hand through his unruly hair. Letting out a breath slowly he nodded and moved away from the doorway, starting to go down he stairs.  
I knew Edward was right, this is a big risk we'll be taking, but I will not sit around and wait anymore. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and glanced over  
his shoulder at me. We stood there, talking without speaking words, and I knew in that moment that Edward would help me.

For that I was grateful.

Everyone was in the living room when we got there, all spread out relaxing the best they could. Esme and Carlisle were on the love seat. Rose was on the couch  
reading a car magazine and Emmett was sitting next to her playing one of his video games. Jasper was leaning against the wall the lead into the kitchen and  
when I looked over at him and met his eyes, the rooms relaxing atmosphere shifted and all eyes where on me.

"Bella has…something she would like to share." Edward said, before moving away from me to stand next to Jasper. I nodded my head at him and opened my mouth, but  
no words come out. They're there, on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't seem to say them.

"It's alright dear," Esme said sweetly "You can tell us, whatever it is."

This made me smile, always Esme to be the one to give me courage. I knew I had to do this, it was our _only _option.

"We all know it's been months since…since Alice left. I really appreciate all you guys have been doing to bring her back, but-" I hesitate, feeling my gut constrict  
with nervousness, but Jasper waves it off me like a fly on a wall. I mouth thank you to him, then continue " But let's face it, it's not going anywhere."

" We've been working our asses off Bella, no need to insult us." Rosalie remarked, venom coating her words.

Yet before I could strike back, Esme scowled at Rosalie. " Rosalie Cullen, that's no way to treat Bella, especially now. Has all that's happened in the past months  
taught you nothing?"

Rose didn't reply, just muttered what I'm assuming was a sorry, then looked away. I couldn't really be pissed at Rose, it's just who she was and I knew how much  
Alice leaving affected her.

Trust me, _I knew_.

"I wasn't trying to insult Rosalie, I'm sorry it came off that way. What I meant to say is that we shouldn't be wasting our time looking for her."

"But I thought you wanted her back." Jasper questioned.

"I do, you know I do, but how can we find her when she doesn't want to be found? You don't go following a rainbow trying to reach the end, no matter what it promises.  
I'm just saying we should go about it a different way."

" What way would that be?" Carlisle asks.

" We _track_ her."

" Bella, while that's a good idea, none of us are trackers and the only one we know is…."

I knew as Carlisle trailed off he already figured out what I was talking about. He is a smart vampire, after all how can he resist blood so well?

" Bella.." Carlisle started hesitantly " You can be suggesting what I think you are."

"It's the only road we have to follow, Carlisle. Please"

A silence filled the room and I knew that everyone, save from Edward and Carlisle, had no idea what was going on. It didn't surprise me that Emmett was the  
one to ask the question the others wanted to know.

"What are you talking about? Suggest what?"

Carlisle sighed before standing up and walked over to me patting my shoulder with, what I'm assuming was comfort, for the chaos that was about to ensue.

"Bella is suggesting we track Alice. For one: she won't be expecting it and it will be better than waiting for her to come home."

"Yes we get that, but who are you talking about?" Jasper asked.

Carlisle glanced at me then Edward before turning his eyes back to the others. He took a deep unneeded breath before speaking.

"The Volturi."

_**When you got  
**__**No options left  
**__**You go the path  
**__**Less traveled.**_

_**When the big bad wolf  
**__**Offers his help  
**__**You don't say no  
**__**You shake his hand**_

_**A deal with the devil  
**__**May cost you your soul  
**__**But at the price of love  
**__**You'll pay the toll**_

_**Just make sure  
**__**You never turn your back  
**__**On the big bad wolf  
**__**He is the bad guy, after all.**_

_**

* * *

**_**Thanks for reading and please review! : )**


	6. Finally Over

A.N. I am so sorry. It took me forever to get this out and I apologize. I hope there are still people reading this. I got so busy, then I had writers  
block and it was horrible. This is a short chapter. But it's so you all know that I am back and I will be updating again and the next update will be  
longer. Much longer. Btw I had no Beta on this one, so the mistakes are mine. I just really wanted to get this one out.

-Enjoy

* * *

**Finally Over**

No one really knows how vampires came to be. Not even vampires themselves. So most make up stories that we were somehow created by the devil.  
In a battle between God and The Devil. The devil was losing. His followers were falling and he feared hell would seize to exists. So he did the one thing  
God would never do. He raised the dead. Turned them into creatures he could control. Creatures that we're made to be monsters. Only monsters.  
He would use these creatures to destroy God. He wanted to rise up from hell and rule the Earth. Surround it into darkness. This is only half of the story.  
There's always a part people miss out. The part that no one even believes. We were not just the Devils creations.

We were **Gods'.**

God created mankind to be a peaceful race. He wanted love and pace to overcome hate and greed. He wanted to make is so all humans  
went to Heaven, thus ending the need for a hell.

But he failed.

Humans we're nothing like he wanted. They were greedy, selfish beings. Thus the world was devoured by rage. Anger won out love and  
peace was never known. Seeing his perfect vision of life failing, God was overcome with madness. He was outraged that these people, who  
we gave life too, disobey and destroyed his vision. So he did the one thing that he would come to regret.

He made a deal with Hades.

To create a creature that would put an end to the rage and the violence. To stop the bloodshed. God was so driven, he became blinded.  
He failed to realize the deal he had just made. The creature he had just allowed to be created.

The monster he let breathe.

It took Hades a century to create the perfect creature. And perfect it was. Invincible. Impossibly fast. Cold to the touch. Reeked of death.  
Heartless. No emotion.

A vampire.

The first vampire was created from dead humans. No one really knows how, but someone how he did it. Marcus was his name and  
the Devil was his master.

God, realizing what he had done, tried to end Marcus, but he could not. He did not know how to kill what was already dead. He was at a loss.  
Marcus thus went out and killed helpless, innocent woman and children. Leaving the men in anger towards one another. Wars we're daily and  
the earth was stained with blood. It seemed Marcus would wipe out mankind.

Hades was furious. He did not want all humans to be slaughtered, so he planed to get rid of Marcus and he figured the best way to get rid of  
the dead was to burn it. Burned him he did. God was thankful for Hades, he decided to overlook his mistake and try once more to fulfill his vision.  
What he and Hades didn't know, however, was Marcus creating more of himself. Marcus had learned that he didn't have to kill the humans,  
he could change them.

Marcus was my father. He gave me these powers. He made me into who I am. I am Vanessa Volturi. The second vampire ever created.

Now that makes me, about almost a million years old. You see I created the Volturi. I have changed countless humans over the years.  
I was the one who started this vampire infestation. I am the most powerful vampire there is. All will cower before me soon enough. You see  
I know all vampires, I've created most of them. I know all about their powers and well I got a power of my own.

I can kill a vampire.

No I don't mean with fire either. You see the venom that flows in us does not only cause our bloodlust, no, it's our lifeline. If a vampire would  
to lose their venom, by it being drained, they would turn to ash. Instantly. I have that power. I can drain any vampires venom. I could wipe the  
human race out with one swipe. I can do the same with vampires.

I don't want to end the human race completely. No I will make it so vampires will be the ones in the open and humans will hide in the shadows.  
The will all know of us and all will fear us. I've waited years for this plan to begin. 108 years to be exact. It all started with Alice. Little Alice.  
You see when vampires change humans they have the power to change how much of that human they want. I made Alice no longer exist.  
I made her a complete monster. She was so beautiful, killing everything.

But that incident had to ruin everything!

Somehow her human side fought back. It caged the monster I created. My perfect killing machine. She thinks she could get away with it?  
Denying the monster what it craves. What it was made for. Drinking pathetic animal blood. Alice, you have had your life, now you will seize to exist.  
Once and for all.

* * *

The time is almost here. Finally I will be free. Free to destroy all who cross my path.

Free to feel blood trickle down my throat. How I've waited for this moment. For my chains to become free. For my bonds to be broken.  
It's been to long since I've tasted it.

_Freedom. _

To long dealing with this pathetic human I share this body with. Alice. Mary Alice. How I hate her. She was suppose to seize to exist!  
This body was mine! I had it at first. Oh yes I had the control.

Then I lost it.

I've spent years and years fighting for it, getting close to many times. So fucking close! Damn those vampires! Damn them! They're not  
even vampires! They're pathetic. Holding on to their human self's! Damnit! I was a killing machine!

Do you know how disgusting animal blood is? It's thick and gross and I'm sick of it.

But soon. Very soon I will be free. All thanks to that human. Stupid human. How I will thank you for removing my chains. For freeing me from  
my prison.

How I cant wait to taste your blood.

I will end you. I will end all of you. I will be the monster my master created me to be. Vampires will no longer be in the shadows.  
We will no longer be creatures of the night. We will rule. I've waited so long for this.

And I'm not waiting any longer.

_**You feel me  
Under your skin  
Breaking out  
You're caving in**_

_**Feel the pain  
As I rip away  
The flesh that hides  
What lies awake**_

_**Give it all to me  
Let me be free  
No where to run  
No way to win**_

_**Your walls are coming  
Down, crumbling thin**_

_**Taste the chains  
That you've locked me in**_

_**You feel me  
Under your skin  
It's time I break free  
And cage you in.**_

* * *

Please review.


	7. Awakening

A.N. Hello readers. Thanks to those who are still reading this. Took me longer than I thought to get out, but here's the next chapter. Hope you  
all like it. All spelling errors are mine and all that.

-Enjoy

* * *

**Awakening **

The room was unlike anything I've ever seen. It was a wide room, with tall walls that stretched to a glass ceiling. Beautiful paintings  
were etched on the walls and the windows were covered with what looked like velvet drapes. And in the center, were three thrones made of wood.  
Dark brown wood with bright red patting all placed on a black rug.

Upon these elegant thrones, sat three handsome men, all wearing smiles that showed the whitest of teeth. They were dressed like royalty, with the  
most expensive outfits. Around them were other people (vampires Bella. _vampires._) dressed equally to those men in the thrones. I could instantly say  
that these people where easily the most beautiful people I've ever seen.

And the most **deadly. **

" Ah! Carlisle, what a glorious surprise." The man sitting in the middle chair said as he stood up and walked towards Carlisle, shaking his hand.

"Yes, Aro, it has been some time. I am terribly sorry to drop in like this on such short notice."

"Nonsense my old friend, you can drop in whenever you like." He said with a gentle happy smile. Then he turned to me and I swear his smile went wider.

"Who is this beautiful girl?"

Carlisle smiled at me then turned back to Aro " This is Bella, the newest addition to our family."

" Your family seems to always be growing Carlisle." One of the men in the thrones said suddenly. The way he said it, I could tell it wasn't a welcome  
gesture.

" Yes, it does…Yet it seems you are missing a member. Tell me Carlisle, where is dear Alice?" Aro glanced looking from Carlisle to me.

" It's rather a long story Aro, why don't we just let you see for yourself?" Carlisle turn to me. I knew what Aro's gift was. You see after everyone's  
initial shock and down right resentment to the idea of asking the volturi, they decided it was best I knew what I was getting myself into.

_FLASHBACK_

_My family was in chaos. Everyone was yelling, even Esme. Rosalie looked beyond pissed and poor Jasper looked to be in so much pain. I sat  
backed and watched the damage I have cause. If only I wasn't so stu-_

"_Bella. You have no right to think that this is all your fault." Edward said suddenly and it no matter how quiet it was said, all the yelling stopped. _

" _You cant blame yourself for something you have no control over Bella." _

" _But don't you all see? This __**is **__all my fault. If I would have never forgotten A… Alice then you wouldn't all be fighting. This family wouldn't be so __**broken.**__" _

_I closed my eyes trying desperately to fight my tears when suddenly I felt cold arms surround me. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see  
who the arms belonged to ._

" _It is not your fault Bella. Alice chose to leave on her own. You didn't tell her to leave. You didn't make yourself lose your memory. It will __**never **__be your fault.  
I'm sorry I made it seem that way." Rosalie said before releasing me and going to Emmett's side. _

" _Rose is right Bella. Don't blame yourself. We will find Alice and if this is the only way then so be it." Carlisle said. _

" _If were going to the Vulturi for help, I believe Bella needs to know all we know about them." _

"_I agree Jasper. We will tell her everything."_

_And they did. They told me how Carlisle was once part of the vampire royal family. How he still holds his title as prince. They explained why the Volturi were  
called the vampire royal family and what they're purpose was. _

_The Volturi was started by Aro. Aro hated what happened to him when he awoke from his turning. For years he devoured humans in his path of rage.  
Till one year he came across a village in flames. At first he didn't care to stop, but then he heard the cry of a human. A little boy was trapped in the fire.  
_

_For reasons not even Aro knows he saved that boy and turned him into a vampire. Later Aro found out that a group of vampires destroyed that village. Aro  
found himself in a rage, not because of the innocent people they killed, but for the boy they left behind. Aro realized that the existence of vampires should not  
be shared with humans. He realized he did not want a war where blood would be shed. _

_Blood he needed to live. So yes, Aro created the Volturi for purely selfish reasons, but overtime he's reformed it. Morphed it as not a power hungry group of  
vampires, but as a group of vampires who did not want vampires to over power each other and end up killing all humans thus causing a vampire war.  
_

_In the end I concurred that while Aro was selfish, he wasn't a bad guy. Even though he did want Edward, Jasper, and Alice to join him for their powers… Yea not a bad  
guy at all…_

_I also learned how Aro's powers were like Edwards, only greater. How he could see everything that has happened to you and everything you've thought of with  
one touch. It was a most impressive gift._

_The last thing I learned was by far the most important. While the Volturi were made to look out for vampires keeping their existence a close guarded secret.  
Killing in small groups and not making a scene, I also learned that they were always looking for something in return when sought help. That is the Cullen's never  
went for their help and tried to stay out of their way as much as possible._

_They were the biggest family of vampires the Volturi allowed, but it was because they fed __off of animals that they got away with it. And got away  
with saying no when Aro asked Alice, Jasper and Edward to join them. (Cause apparently no one says no to Aro. )_

" _Bella you are unlike any human we've met. Sometimes Jasper cant change your emotions and Edward cant read your mind. This is unheard of.  
If we go to the Volturi for help, Aro will see that you are some how able to protect your mind. He will want you to join them."_

" _Join them? A human join them?"_

" _No Bella. A vampire."_

" _But I'm no-" Oh. Shit. So basically if I ask them for help they will want to turn me into a vampire?_

" _I'm afraid so Bella." Edward said._

_I was silent for a while. Thinking. I mean sure I planed to ask Alice to change me in the future, but then everything happened and… well you know._

" _This is why we had such a reaction when you purposed the idea. We know they would ask this."_

" _I want to know. Truthfully, do you all believe the Volturi have the power to find Alice?"_

_They all looked at each other for a second. It was a tense atmosphere. I could tell they wanted to lie, but I knew they wouldn't. They're my  
family and I trust them. Finally Carlisle turn to me and shook his head. _

" _Yes Bella, we believe they can."_

_It was a lot to take in. Alice could see the future. She knew what was coming as soon as we thought it. If these Volturi had that much power  
to track Alice, who I deemed untraceable who was I to turn down this chance? Was Alice really worth my human life? To be turned into a vampire, destined  
to live forever trying to control the monster that keeps me alive?_

_**Yes. She was.**_

Aro's hand was cold. Colder than I've ever felt. He looked at me a smile on his face. Slowly his smile started to grow, till finally it split his  
whole face. He let go of my hand and turned to Carlisle.

" My dear old friend, what a _**remarkable **_human you have here. I can not see **anything."**

Carlisle smiled, " Yes, it is rather amazing. Edwards gift doesn't work either I'm afraid and sometimes even Jasper cant change her emotions."  
Well the Edward part wasn't a full lie at least. It seems Edward can read my mind now, but only when **I **wish him too.

Aro looked at me again. This time he seemed to be studying me and then as if a light bulb went off in his head he smiled. I could feel Edward  
tense up behind me and let me tell you something, it's nearly impossible to feel a vampire tense.

" Carlisle, would you perhaps let me try something?" Aro asked.

Carlisle looked to Edward who nodded then glanced at me before saying , " If you feel it is necessary, then yes go ahead."

"Excellent!" Aro clapped his hands together, then turned around to the vampires standing near the thrones. " Jane, wont you come here please?"

A young girl stepped forward, she looked to be 14 maybe 15 years old. She stood next to Aro, who placed his hand on her shoulder.  
Nodding her head, she directed her red eyes at me and stared.

And stared..

And stared…

And stared..

It was actually starting to get really creepy. I was _sure _something was suppose to happen by now and judging the look on her face I'm  
assuming she thought so too.

" Now this is just marvelous." Aro exclaimed. " Carlisle, my friend, where did you find this amazing _creature_?"

" Actually," Carlisle started, "She found us."

" While I am having such a _lovely _time catching up with you and your family Carlisle, I think its time you tell us the reason for your visit."

" Marcus must you always be so impatient?" Aro asked, turing to the man who spoke. It was the same man who spoke earlier. He was an  
odd looking man, long hair and a face that look just to perfect, but what can I say? It must be a vampire gene.

" No, Marcus is right Aro, we must not waste anymore time. We are here to ask for your help."

" Help with what?"

Carlisle looked to me and I just knew I was the one who had to ask. After all the prep talk and the time it took making this diceision, the actual  
time had come. It was time to sell my soul

For the Cullens.

For Myself.

For **Alice.**

" We need your help to track Alice. Like Carlisle said earlier, it is a long story, so why don't I just show you, for real this time." I took a step  
towards Aro and held out my hand. He glanced at it for a second, hesitant, then grabbed it.

In that instant I could feel his power just blanket over me. It was like thousand needles poking my brain. I understood this man had power, but  
I did not expect that much power. Just like he did not expect me to _have _a power. Really it was a surprise for both of us.

It took less than five minutes for Aro to see everything, but it was the longest five minutes I've ever experienced. I'm not sure, but I think it has  
to do with the fact that I'm about to make a deal with the devil. Maybe.

" What an _unexpected _turn of events Carlisle. Unexpected indeed."

" So will you help us? Find Alice and bring her back. Show her that it's all okay now. That I'm okay. "

" Why Bella dear, of course we'll help, but you must know catching Alice is no easy task. She can, after all see the future." Aro smiled and I  
knew he was loving this. I've changed my mind, he's an evil bastard.

" Yes, I'm aware of that. That's why I want to make a deal."

" A deal?" He questioned, the light in his eyes sparkled. Did I mention he's an evil bastard? Okay just making sure.

" Yes. You track Alice **and **bring her back I will give you something in return."

" And what will this be?"

" Me."

* * *

All I feel now is the wind ghosting over my skin. That's all I've felt for so long now. It's my only way to feel. I've become the wind, traveling  
through the trees, moving from place to place. Always alone. In the dark, in the shadows, silent.

Like I'm not even real.

I feel blind to this world now. It's lost it's beauty. The grass I see isn't green. The sky is never blue. There are no birds singing. Nature has left me.  
I remember a time where I was happy, but now all it feels like is a dream. A wonderful dream where this pain in my chest isn't there.

Like I'm not here.

I'm a ghost, drifting along, from town to town. City to city. State to state. I never stop to look. Never stop to rest. It's like I'm trying to escape  
this pain by running, running nowhere. My feet just move, I'm an endless movement.

I felt them, in the beginning, chasing me. For a second I wanted to get caught. I thought there must be a good reason they're chasing me.  
Maybe _she _remembered. Then I realize how stupid that sounds, if she couldn't remember me before why now? So I ran. I knew they couldn't catch me.

No one can catch me.

It's hard, moving, running, being alone. Sometimes when I stop, I hear her voice. It calls to me, pleads. Begs me to come back.

I can't.

This pain has taken over, it's left me breathless. I'm drowning in nothing. I'm a vampire, I don't need to breathe, yet this pain contricts my  
throat and leaves me gasping for air.

I know, deep down inside, this is all my fault. I'm a strong vampire. For fucks sake I life of animal blood! That stuff is just gross, but I do it cause  
I want to be somewhat human. I'm suppose to be able to control this, **devil **inside me.

It wasn't suppose to win.

You see, I _feel _it. Pulsing. Breathing.

**Alive.**

I know its there. I knew it was all along. I was fighting it, from the moment I laid eyes on Bel- on her. It sprang out of nowhere. Like a lion that finally  
saw prey for the first time.

It was hell. The fire just erupted in my throat. Nothing I did cooled it. So I fought it. I wasn't going to let it win. I knew what would happen if it did. I've  
seen vampires lose control like that. Vampires who haven't feed in months. They snap, like a thin wire, go crazy.

Become Monsters.

I knew how strong I was. I knew I could fight it. I knew the risks, like how humans know the risks of crack or cocaine yet they do it anyway because  
they feel they're strong enough to beat it. I guess in some fucked up way my monster was my addiction. Beating it, proving to myself that I was, that  
I could be still somewhat human.

And it ended up being the worst mistake I've ever made.

I don't remember much of my human life. In fact I can't even remember clearly the night I was turned. It's all a blur. It was horrible at first, coming to terms  
with myself and what I had become. It was easier when I met Jasper because I saw that I wasn't alone. There was someone who was battling the same  
war I was. So ever since that day I've made a vow to live this death as a new life. A second chance.

Maybe that's why I was so determined to fight this beast. Fight it on my own. In the end I realize my monster wasn't the one who ruined my second chance.

I did.

The saddest part is that I've finally beaten it. The monster that screams at me for blood I can no longer hear. That fire no longer burns my throat.  
I'm no longer fighting a beast.

I've killed my monster and all it took was for my undead heart to bleed.

All I feel now is the wind ghosting over my skin.

That's all I've felt for so long now.

I'm beginning to think that's all I will ever feel again.

_There's nothing left to do  
__Nowhere left to go  
No one left to blame_

_There's no way to hide the truth  
__Nowhere to hide your shame  
__No way to escape this pain_

* * *

Please review! Tell me your input, it really helps me pull out ideas and such.


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